Change or Can you smell burning yet? Be aware of when you need to move

Change - When the comfort zone needs re-evaluating

I'm often reminded of a story I heard many years ago, told to me by an old guy who I used to talk to on the way home from work.

Back then, at 16-17 years old, I would walk past the old man and over time, the acknowledging head nods, and the occasional hello led to a friendship which gave me so much insight into human behaviour, along with a wealth of wisdom which he shared with me on those early evenings before I arrived home.

I found myself looking forward to sitting and talking to the old man; I often listened to him for hours at a time. I believe those hours gave me years of learning, I was given wisdom, knowledge, understanding and a view of the world which, if not changed my life, changed the direction I wanted to live it.

Monty, the old guy, would warmly greet me, and I like to think mutual respect grew between us. 

The story he told me was about an old dog who lay by the fire in the cosy home where he lived.

The dog was moaning, as if in pain or distress. The cat who lived in the same household sauntered over to the dog, and asked, "What are you moaning about, dog?"

Continuing his pained groans, the dog replied, "That he was too hot!"!. The cat, disbelieving his ears, replied matter-of-factly, "Then simply move!"!. "Oh, but I am so comfortable where I am said the dog, but I am getting too hot by this fire"!

"Then move", hissed the cat loudly, "move somewhere else and you will feel better"!
"Oh no" replied the dog, "I don’t want to move anywhere else". "Then that is your choice replied the cat, as he slinked away looking for a comfortable place to lie down.

"Anyway", barked the dog, "it isn't too bad, I'm not burning yet"! The cat shook his head and, without looking back, left the room quietly to find his little haven.

More time passed, and the dog began to singe. His fur was getting too hot, and the smell of singed hair filled his nose and his owners'.  The time came when the dog was moved away from the fire, and he was patted frantically by his owners, who tried to make sure the singed fur was all that happened. Fortunately, it was, and he was sent into another room. A patch of frazzled fur was clearly visible on his side. 

Head down, droopy ears, he made his way to another room, banished from the fireplace. Passing the doorway, the cat hissed at him, "I've no sympathy for you", " all you had to do was move when you knew you should, but you didn't, you only have yourself to blame". 

This story came to mind as I spoke with a potential client a few years ago who had a problem with change. We had met about 18 months previously, and we'd had the initial consultation, just as we were doing again, that day, discussing his problem and the way forward.

At the time, he decided to delay working with me until later and had to discuss it with his wife before making the decision. That was only right, but I suspected that there was something he had not shared with me. 

This time, however, he was more open; the thought of changing things frightened him, he said.

I occasionally see this with people: they will ask me about my services, my IBS Audio Program 100, or any of my other health-focused audio programs, and they consider it.

And they consider it some more, they nearly commit, but pull back, they return, look some more, almost reach out and take action, but pull away at the last moment again, and return to their safe place. In that time, a change happened; he missed discounts on my programs, and he had to pay for another meeting; both could have been avoided had he committed to change earlier.

They don't realise that their lack of decision-making is becoming an anchor, dragging behind them.

The desire for change is not as strong as the desire to remain in their comfort zone, which ceased to be a comfort zone a long time ago in the true sense of the term - but they have yet to recognise it!   

They imagine how life might feel after we have worked together, or after they have listened to one of my health programs. They get brave, stoic, and stubborn, but each time they pull back just before the time to commit. It's called being human!

It might no longer be a comfortable place, but it is familiar. However, in time, the pain, the problem, and the worry will get worse and more painful until eventually, they have to move, whether they like it or not.

The comfort zone is no longer comfortable or familiar, and change is now forced upon them, either by circumstances, ill health, or by those who care and love them.

About then, they realise the time they have wasted, and the discomfort they put themselves through, both of which could have been avoided.

Like the dog in the story above, it wouldn’t move until it was burning, then it had to move. Potential clients or customers tend to move when they are motivated to move - often through pain or discomfort, rather than the preferred desire for something better.

The motivation to change and do something different is often sabotaged by the reluctance to move out of their comfort zone, but the problem with that is they aren't learning or moving forward; in this case, the comfort turns to stagnation.

This behaviour is not unusual; it is just about being human.

Change is scary at times, but I often ask my clients, which is scarier, living a life of pain, worry or dread, or choosing to change and to learn something new, to learn to be in a better place and create a different comfort zone.

I guess both are as scary as each other - but one has the possibility of new beginnings, with something better on the horizon - the other one doesn't.

My potential client acknowledged he didn’t like the idea of change; change takes effort and time, and it's unknown. I reassured him; he was right, of course. It is unknown until it becomes familiar!

We all feel that way at times, but I also reminded him that life is about changing and learning to be and do more. Getting the courage to change when you feel emotionally and physically drained is a big ask!

However, it is much better to change willingly, with guidance and reassurance, than it is to have circumstances force you to change; then you have no option, you have to find the energy and the time to do something different, so why not do it of your own free will when usually there are more options of choice available?

The journey into a new, familiar comfort zone is far easier when you do it voluntarily than when it's forced on you.
My potential client decided he was determined to go ahead, and he spoke to his partners, who, it seems, had been urging him to see me for several years!  He became my client, and we started working together.

After a couple of sessions, He said," he was already feeling better, he shared that he then realised how much pain and distress he had been in, and how much worry he put his family through, all because he was afraid and uncertain, and thinking he could resolve things himself.

He mentioned how many times he had nearly reached out, only to pull back. Only now, realising that he could have taken action sooner. He could have been braver, more decisive. Why didn’t he just reach out?

I stopped him from beating himself up; it only wastes energy! The reality was that he could see things more clearly because he was in a different time and space than he was before he decided to do something different. 

He is now looking back to where he was. He now had the benefit of experience, knowledge and understanding that he didn’t have back then when he was in the thick of things.

He had his light-bulb moment at that point. He now knows that he is not only responsible for what he does, but also for what he doesn’t do.

Ultimately, we all live our lives the best we can, but sometimes our hesitancy gets in the way of living life better.

The dog moved once he began to burn, but he should have given the cat's advice a little more thought. 

Ultimately, if we don’t choose to move on in life, life has a way of making us move, and that is often a much more painful lesson. 

So, whether you are considering the IBS Audio Program 100, Our Anxiety, Stress, Insomnia, Osteoarthritis, Confidence & Self-Esteem Program or any of our other programs, remember, the sooner you act and do something different, the sooner you enter your new comfort zone.

In short, the sooner we move, the less time we waste, and the fewer regrets we have when we look back.      See our best selling programs here.

Other blogs you might be interested in 

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