Finding Moments of Peace When Life as a Carer Feels Overwhelming
Sometimes you don't need to fix anything
There are times in life when there is simply too much going on.
Too many things to think about, too many decisions, too many responsibilities, maybe oo many emotions.
When you're caring for someone, there may be very little opportunity to step away from all of that.
And sometimes what you need isn't another piece of advice, you don't need somebody to tell you how to solve the situation, nor do you need to be reminded to “stay positive.”
Perhaps you simply need a few moments of peace.
Peace doesn't mean everything is fine
This is important.
Finding a moment of peace doesn't mean that your circumstances have changed; the person you care for may still need you.
The appointment may still be tomorrow, the difficult decision may still have to be made, and the uncertainty may still be there.
Peace isn't necessarily about making those things disappear.
It can simply mean giving yourself a short period in which you don't have to think about everything at once.
A pause can be enough
Perhaps you've experienced this without calling it anything special.
- Sitting quietly with a cup of tea.
- Listening to music.
- Looking out of the window.
- Spending a few minutes in the garden.
- Taking a slow breath.
- Listening to something calming.
Sometimes these small pauses can provide a welcome change of pace.
Carers UK* recognises the importance of breaks and wellbeing support for carers, and provides a range of online resources and sessions designed to give carers opportunities for their own wellbeing.
You don't have to earn a moment of peace
This can be difficult for carers.
You may feel that there is always something more important to do; but rest isn't a reward for finishing everything.
Because, realistically, everything may never be finished; there will always be another task, another phone call, another appointment, another thing to organise.
So perhaps you don't have to wait until everything is done. Perhaps you can take a few moments in the middle of it all.
A place to return to
The bonus recording in the More Than A Carer Programme is called Finding Moments of Peace Within the Journey.
- It is deliberately quieter.
- It isn't intended to teach you anything complicated.
- It is simply something you can return to when you would like a few moments to pause, settle and breathe.
- You can listen to it alongside the four main recordings, or return to it whenever it feels appropriate.
You don't have to change the journey
Caring can be a long journey;
Sometimes the circumstances cannot be changed.
But perhaps you can occasionally change the way you experience the next few minutes.
- Slow down.
- Listen.
- Breathe.
- Let yourself have a little space.
- Then continue when you're ready.
- Not because everything has suddenly become easy.
But because you've given yourself a moment too.
A little peace matters
It may only be a few minutes, it may not change what comes next. But perhaps that's not the point, perhaps the point is simply this:
For a little while, nothing is being asked of you.
You can just be.
And perhaps that is something every carer deserves.
Because you are more than a carer.
And you matter too.
Further Reading
More Than A Carer Session 1 Compassion Fatigue
More Than A Carer Session 2 Why Wellbeing Matters
More Than A Carer Session 3 When Caring Takes Over
More Than A Carer Session 4 Why Is Asking For Help So Difficult When You Are A Carer
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