How Important Are You ? You matter more than you might think.
How highly do you rate yourself?
How important are you? In recent years, I have become increasingly concerned about how many people tell me they feel unimportant. Whether through my clinical work, conversations, or reading posts on social media, I regularly see comments such as "Nobody cares about me," or "I don't really matter."
While difficult times and uncertainty can certainly magnify these feelings, I don't believe they are the only cause. Many people have quietly undervalued themselves for years, placing everyone else's needs ahead of their own until they no longer recognise their own worth.
Modern life is demanding. We work hard, study, raise families, care for children, support ageing parents, volunteer, or simply try to keep everything together. Even retired people often smile and say, "I don't know how I ever found time to go to work!"
With so many responsibilities, we rarely stop to ask ourselves one simple question.
Who is the most important person in your life?
Take a moment and think about it.
You may say your partner,
your children,
grandchildren,
parents,
relatives,
close friends,
neighbours,
even the family dog or cat.
Mentally count everyone who is precious to you.
Now stop.
Where did you place yourself on the list?
Were you at the bottom of the list?
Did you forget to include yourself altogether?
If so, you're certainly not alone. In fact, the two most common answers I receive are: I didn't include myself, and I was last!
But they are both flawed thinking
How Important Are You
Every single person you named would be affected if something happened to you. You contribute to their lives every day through your kindness, support, experience, humour, love and presence. You matter to them, whether you realise it or not.
So why shouldn't you matter to yourself?
Many people tell me that putting themselves first feels selfish.
My answer is always the same.
Looking after yourself is not selfish—it is self-preservation.
Think of the safety demonstration on an aircraft.
In an emergency, you are instructed to put your own oxygen mask on before helping anyone else. Not because you are more important than others, but because you cannot effectively help anyone if you are struggling yourself.
Life works in much the same way.
When we ignore stress, anxiety, exhaustion or burnout, our minds and bodies eventually demand our attention. If we continually push ourselves beyond our limits, sooner or later we pay the price.
Sometimes it arrives as overwhelming fatigue, poor sleep, illness, anxiety, IBS triggers or simply feeling emotionally drained.
These are not signs of weakness. They are signals asking us to restore balance.
Make time for yourself.
Spend time with people who lift your spirits.
Enjoy your hobbies. Walk in nature. Sit quietly with a cup of tea. Listen to your thoughts without judgement. Allow yourself moments of peace. Support others, but remember that you cannot carry everyone else's burdens as well as your own. You were never meant to!
One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is permission to value yourself just as much as you value the people you love.
Your wellbeing matters.
Your health matters.
Your happiness matters.
Most importantly...
You matter.
Today, make one small decision that says, "I matter too." It could be taking a walk, resting without guilt, saying no when you need to, or simply giving yourself permission to breathe.
Start by saying Yes To You.
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Your health is your greatest wealth.
Protect it. Nurture it. Value it.
Today, choose to say Yes To You.
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