Stress! When you say “I’m fine” you might be making matters worse!

Stress is alive and well and flourishing in our society!

Stress is impacting the lives of the young and old in countries around the world. 

If you are feeling stressed most days, and you recognise it, you are becoming aware that your life and health are out of balance. What is not so easy is to be mindful of what you can do about it. Some people don't recognise they are stressed, which can be dangerous. However, if you've identified the stress in your life, you are 25% of the way to managing it. 

Put simply, how you manage your stress depends on you!

The first step is to acknowledge that stress is a problem in your life.

The second thing is to stop telling folk you are 'fine' when they ask how you are feeling.  

When you reply that you're 'fine' or 'OK' and don't feel it, it causes inner conflict, which leads to more stress.

What you are saying is not how you feel, so your subconscious mind begins to search inside your body, thoughts and feelings to find where you are ‘fine’ or ‘OK’. 

When no ‘fine or OK’ feelings are found, it causes inner conflict. Which, in turn, causes more internal demand as the subconscious tries to find what it is missing!

The simple and easy reply is ‘I’m coping’. 

That usually satisfies the enquirer's typically cursory comment, and it also satisfies the subconscious because it is a balanced (rather than false) reply. 

There are three simple truths,

The first is that people are often more focused on their own issues and feelings than on any of your details, and

The second simple truth is you may well be the last person to recognise you are stressed!

The third simple truth is: how you manage your stress depends on you. And coupled with all three is a simple equation of life, and that is:

You take responsibility for what you choose to do, but you also take responsibility for what you choose not to do! 

If you do something to help yourself, you can take credit for the outcomes.  If you choose not to do something that needs to be done, you cannot complain about any outcomes the inaction causes.

Of course, I don't expect many readers to be unfamiliar with these things, but sometimes seeing them in writing gives us a gentle reminder of their existence.

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So what to do about stress!

Firstly, some stress is necessary in life to motivate us to get out of bed and function during the day. The bark of the boss or the lost meeting or missing the bus or train, or getting caught up in traffic because you didn’t leave just that 15 minutes earlier, is never worth the extra 10 minutes in bed.  It’s too stressful. So you avoid it. That is managing stress.

However, if you feel stressed most of the time, that has to be dealt with differently.   But first, you have to be in the right place to deal with it!  And that critical point is one I will return to shortly.

Please do not see being stressed as a sign of weakness; noticing it and doing something about it requires strength of character, focus and structure.  Yes, some people wear their stress like a badge of honour, seemingly thinking that only if they are stressed are they doing their best; that thinking is flawed.

Some people don’t think stress even exists – the cemetery is full of them! Again, flawed thinking!

When you feel stressed, it is a sign that your emotional energy is being used.

When you feel stressed most of the time, that is when your emotional energy is being drained.

Stress can be defined as the state where your physical and emotional energies are outstripped by internal and/or external demands, whether real or imagined. 

Real or imagined! 

An interesting and factual statement,  because the mind will respond and create physical changes in your body – electrical impulses and chemical releases, in response to your thoughts.

For instance, if you are facing a threat or fear in real life or just thinking about it in a safe environment, the stress response kicks in.  The reaction to thinking of the threat still occurs even when you are in a safe environment; even though you are safe, your mind and body still respond. 

Way back in the early and mid-1990s, stress was called the killer of the 90s, such was the state of society at the time.  And here we are 35 years later, and things are no better; they are worse in many ways, because most of us are online and contactable 24/7.  Work and social pressures are difficult to avoid now, and yet we can help ourselves.

There are the usual suggestions of self-help.  Take regular exercise, get more sleep, don’t skip mealtimes, and break down tasks into manageable bits.

However, these are easier said than done.

Why do we struggle to implement changes that will ultimately benefit us?

I mentioned earlier that you have to be in the right place to change!    And that means giving yourself time to recharge those emotional energies that have been drained, especially if you have felt stressed for any length of time.

Do not doubt that you are capable of feeling and being better, but you have to be in the right place.   Imagine the moment when you are about to start feeling better is already on its way to you—picture that moment of change as a tennis ball that's been hit for you to knock back.  If you were on the tennis court, you would have to move and place yourself in a different space to hit the return shot back over the net.

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What would happen if you never moved to take the return shot? Simple: you would have missed it! 

Similarly, you have to make mental moves and shifts to put yourself in the right place for the moment of change to touch you. 

If you miss it, another will come your way, and another until one touches you, and then there will be another and another, and that is called recovery!

Your recovery from stress should be structured and gradual.  Diving in and rushing things doesn't work for the long term; missing steps of change only cause you to sabotage your recovery.

In contrast, structure and gentle learning and relearning build a foundation of calmness, change, and positivity.

If anything in this article has made sense, our Stress Audio Program will make sense, too.  

And the great thing is, there is no stress or demand on you to look at it or purchase it.  There are no ticking clocks, telling you your special offer deal will expire in the next 10 minutes, or that you will be missing out on extras that are worth unrealistic amounts of money, either.

We never try to pressure you to make a sale; please make an informed choice, and we would rather you take some time to consider its benefits.  

So all we ask is that you take a few minutes to look at our Stress Audio Program – take a peek at its 14 sessions’ structure, the length of the sessions too and then decide.

We're currently running a sale - if you miss this one, another one will come along!

As a token of appreciation for reading this far, we are offering you an extra 10% discount on top of the existing offer. This offer will come around again, so no worries on that!

When ready, use the discount code: Stress-less at checkout for the extra 10% off.

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