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Stress! When you say “I’m fine” you might be making matters worse!

Stress is alive and well and flourishing in our society!

Stress is impacting the lives of the young and old, in countries around the world. 

Did you think things would be better when the lock-down was lifted? Many people did, and yet it isn’t happening for many. 

If you are feeling stressed most days, and you recognise it, you are becomming aware that your life and health are out of balance. What is not so easy to be aware of is what you can do about it. 

Put simply - how you manage your stress - depends on you!

The first thing to do is to acknowledge that stress is a problem in your life.

The second thing is to stop telling folk you are 'fine' when they ask how you are feeling.  

When you reply you are 'fine' or 'OK' and you don't feel it, it causes inner conflict, which leads to more stress.

What you are saying is not how you feel, so your subconscious begins to search inside your body, thoughts and feelings to find where you are ‘fine’ or ‘OK’. 

When no ‘fine or OK’ feelings are found it causes inner conflict. Which in turn causes more internal demand? 

The simple and easy reply is ‘I’m coping’. 

That usually satisfies what is usually a cursory comment anyway from the enquirer and it satisfies the subconscious because it is a balanced (rather than false) reply. 

There are three simple truths,

the first is people are often more focused on their own issues and feelings to be too interested in any of your detail, and,

the second simple truth is you may well be the last person to recognise you are stressed!

the third simple truth is: how you manage your stress - depends on you. And coupled with all three is a simple equation of life and that is:

You take responsibility for what you choose to do, but also on the other side of the equation,  you also take responsibility for what you choose not to do! 

If you do something to help yourself, you can take credit for the outcomes.  If you choose not to do something that needs to be done - you cannot complain at any outcomes the inaction causes.

Of course I don't expect that there are many readers who don't know these things already, but sometimes seeing them in writing gives us a gentle reminder of their existence.

See the program in detail here <<

Get Extra 10% Discount off THE DISCOUNT! use code: Stress-less at checkout

Man looking to his right thinking with cogs showing behind him

So what to do about stress!

Firstly, some stress is needed in life, to get us out of bed, and help us function during the day. The bark of the boss or the lost meeting or missing the bus or train, or getting caught up in traffic because you didn’t leave just that 15 minutes earlier, is never worth the extra 10 minutes in bed.  It’s too stressful. So you avoid it. That is managing stress.

However, if you feel stressed most of the time, that has to be dealt with differently.   But first, you have to be in the right place to deal with it!  And that important point is one I will return to shortly.

Please do not see being stressed as a sign of weakness, noticing it, and doing something about it requires strength of character, focus and structure.  Yes, some people wear their stress like a badge of honour, seemingly thinking that only if they are stressed are they doing their best, that thinking is flawed.

Some people don’t think stress even exists – the cemetery is full of them! Again flawed thinking!

When you feel stressed it is a sign that your emotional energy is being used.

When you feel stressed most of the time that is when your emotional energy is being drained.

Stress can be defined as when your physical and emotional energies are being outstripped by internal and/or external demands whether they are real or imagined. 

Girl looking to relax

Real or imagined! 

An interesting statement, and true of course because the mind will respond and create physical changes in your body – electrical impulses and chemical releases for example whether you are facing a threat or a fear in reality or if you just think about the threat or fear in a safe environment, maybe the stress response will be less - but it still happens when you are in a safe environment thinking about it!

Way back in the 1990’s stress was called the killer of the 90’s such was the state of society at the time.  And here we are 30+ years later and things are no better they are worse in many ways because most of us are online and contactable 24/7.  Work and social pressures are difficult to avoid now, and yet we can help ourselves.

There are the usual suggestions of self-help.  Take regular exercise, get more sleep, don’t skip mealtimes, break down tasks to manageable bits.

However, you might find these are easier said than done.

Why do we find it so difficult to apply change even though those changes will help us?

I mentioned early that you have to be in the right place to change!    And that means giving yourself time to recharge those emotional energies that have been drained, especially if you have felt stressed for any length of time.

Have no doubt, that you are capable of feeling and being better, but you have to be in the right place.   Imagine the moment when you are going to start feeling better is already on its way to you, imagine that moment of change as a tennis ball that has been hit for you to knock it back.  If you were on the tennis course you would have to move and place yourself in a different place to hit the return shot back over the net.

See the program in detail here <<

Get Extra 10% Discount off THE DISCOUNT! use code: Stress-less at checkout

tennis racket and ball about t be returned over the net

What would happen if you never moved to take the return shot - simple you would have missed it!   Similarly, you have to make mental moves and shifts, to put yourself in the right place for the moment of change to touch you. 

If you miss it, another will come your way, and another until one touches you, and then there will be another and another and that is called recovery!

Your recovery from stress should be structured and gradual.  Diving in and rushing things doesn't work for the longer term, missing steps of change only cause you to sabotage your recovery, whereas structure and gentle learning and relearning builds a foundation of calmness, change and positivity.

If anything in this article has made sense, there is a good possibility our Stress Audio Program will make sense too.  

And the great thing is there is no stress or demand on you to look at it or purchase it.  There are no ticking clocks, telling you your special offer deal will expire in the next 10 minutes, or that you will be missing out on extras that are worth unrealistic amounts of money either.

We never try and pressure to make a sale; we want you to make an informed choice, and would rather you take some time to consider its benefits.  

So all we ask is you take a few minutes to look at our Stress Audio Program – take a peek at its 14 session’s structure, the length of the sessions too and then decide.

Notice also it is on offer at the moment reduced from £75 to £47* and

because you have read this far we are giving you an extra 10% discount over and above the existing discount.

Just use discount code:   Stress-less  at checkout for the extra 10% off.

Click here to see program details <<

 

 

 

 

 

*We reserve the right to reduce or withdraw discounts without notice

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