Who is the most important person in your life

I want to ask you a simple question.

The question is this, “Who is the most important people in your life at the moment”?

Think about it, and when you have thought about it, did you perhaps include:

  • your wife,
  • husband
  • girlfriend
  • boyfriend
  • children
  • parents
  • grandparents
  • sons
  • daughters
  • nieces
  • nephews

and maybe close friends or neighbour?   For some, it might be the cat, dog or budgie!

Did you include yourself in the list?

Many of you who took the time to think about the question would have identified perhaps six to ten people (or pets) who you would have thought were the most important in your life before yourself.

And yet, why did you not include yourself if you stopped to think about it? Or if you did, why did you lower your importance? My experience tells me less than 4% of those I have asked this question included themselves, and less than half of 1% put themselves first.

Think of it this way. However many people you identifiedImage of 4 fingers with faces on holding a red heart, meaning love of family and friends

when you answered this simple question, what you did is you identified that same number of people who would have a hole ripped out of their lives if you were no longer in their lives!

Therefore, it is essential to remember that you/me, as individuals are important, often crucial players in the lives of others. You may have people depending on you; you may have people to support, work to do, and goals to achieve, and if you don’t look after yourself, how can you look after others?

In addition, how can you continue financially, emotionally and physically supporting and providing for yourself, and them?

So, the simple answer is that you can’t.

So, looking after yourself, caring for yourself, is not about being selfish; for many, it is more like self-preservation!

It isn’t about being self-centered either; it is simply about caring for yourself, and in this way, you can meet your commitments to others and continue to be an essential part of their lives.

Learning how to cope with internal and external demands is more important than ever.

stickman walking a tight-rope, looking nervous.

External demands are easily identified; open any newspaper, and we read about economic problems, negative equity, high prices, wage restraint, higher taxes, poorer services, war, famine and flood, heatwaves, droughts, higher crime rates, society’s pending downfall and much more besides. 

Yet all this compounds the internal demands, worries, anxieties and fears that many experience. Work overload, relationship difficulties, disharmony in the workplace, perhaps being out of work or too ill to work demands are everywhere.

Nobody ever asks for anything tomorrow; these days, things seem to be needed now or yesterday.

If you don’t get enough rest and self-nurturing, you can make matters a whole lot worse, which is in nobody’s interest.

So what can you do? You can share your worries and concerns, discuss health issues, and you can learn to relax.

The reality is that many situations I mention may not be easy to change, but we can see them through different eyes!

All my clients and followers of my work, and home use health audio programs will have heard me say, ‘each thought creates a physical response’; so by improving your thoughts, sharing problems, and being open to new options of choice and considerations, you can see the situation in a new way, put things in perspective, bring the resources of your mind and body together to achieve your goals.

Thought: Remember the question I asked, and now consider your reply, and notice any differences. And ask yourself the same question every day!

If you need help, contact me here.

As an alternative, this site is the home of the highly acclaimed IBS Audio Program 100 for Irritable Bowel Syndrome which is currently on discount.

Other programs can be found here, including Anxiety, Stress, Insomnia, Pain and others.


Michael Mahoney is an award winning clinical hypnotherapist who has been in practice for 37 years (and counting). He is the author of the award winning IBS Audio Program 100 and Image of Michael Mahoney 2023other hypnosis based programs.

In July 2011 he attended the queens garden party at Buckingham Palace, in recognition of his work creating innovative health solutions, referring to his many years researching and developing condition specific health programs. 


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