Take the day off! Posted on 10 Jan 17:58 , 0 comments
I want to write a few words
about how we have to protect ourselves. Not in the obvious ways, but protecting ourselves internally, protecting our emotional energies and resources, because without them, we are fit for nothing.
It takes emotional energy to deal with our problems, to meet the daily challenges of life such as unemployment, illness and disease, going to work, functioning at work, dealing with lack of finances, child minding, supporting friends and family in their needs and much more.
Every day we are bombarded by demands, important decisions, the wants, needs and expectations of others. All these demands take emotional energy away from us, and once it is drained, it takes time to replenish. In difficult times, we all need to take care of ourselves; this isn’t selfishness, it is self preservation.
Sometimes we have to take a day off from getting better,
or striving to achieve our life ambitions, sometimes we simply need to take time out from our daily routines. Yes, I know it is the modern trend to say ‘push through your problems’ or to ‘try harder’ and ‘don’t be beaten’ and many others of those ‘power phrases’ of motivation.
But the reality is none of it is possible if we don’t have the emotional energy to do it. A high powered car, which can do 0-60mph in 3.2seconds, is useless unless it has the fuel to achieve its optimum level of performance. Our inner energy is the fuel we need to perform to our optimum level. So however good the ‘power phrases’ sound, the reality is somewhat different.
It is our responsibility to ensure we look after ourselves by maintaining optimum energy and health. And sometimes this means we have to stop what we are doing and simply rest. Taking time out for ourselves is important, because we are important.
So the simple message is to keep moving on,
keep learning and finding ways to better ourselves in all areas of our life, but to do it with structure, to rest and be gentle with ourselves in the process. If we burn ourselves out we are little use to anyone, ambitions will be put on hold, emotional recovery takes much longer and frustration and negative thoughts often become the norm.
When I work with people who have burned themselves out, the journey back to emotional renewal is often much longer than it had to be, than if they had recognised the importance of taking time out for themselves a little earlier.
If you have any issues or problems preventing you from moving on or you simply require an independent confidential ‘sounding board’ contact me, I am here to help. Alternatively visit www.healthyaudiohypnosis.com to view my self-help audio recordings.
About Change Posted on 10 Jan 17:49 , 0 comments
Nothing stays the same.
We live with constant change due to each moment being an end and a new beginning. We know change can be sudden or progressive, welcome or forced. Change can be viewed as being an opportunity or a threat.
Many people see change as being out of their control, and of course many changes are. However not all are, and if we are to have happy healthy lives we need to learn to recognise that external change is constantly happening but we can make our own changes too. Those who choose not to change will find life overtakes them, and they will get lost in their own memories of ‘the good old days’.
When we recognise that we can change, and we can introduce positive changes to our lives, environments and circumstances, it is then we see change in a more positive light.
Each New Year’s Eve, more than any other time of the year, we are made increasingly aware of the need for change. The need to change from being a smoker to a non smoker. The need to change destructive relationships, or working patterns. The need to change job, change eating patterns, replace bad habits and so it goes on.
And yet when we stop and think about it,
why focus on change on just one night of the year? The difference is, for many at least, is on that one night of the year, we decide that we have the responsibility, the power, the opportunity and the authority to bring new positive change into our lives. But it is a flawed thought.
Those same feelings of authority, responsibility and power are ours to use at any time in our lives, any moment, minute, day, week, month or year. And yet, for many, unless change is forced upon us, we continue with the established beliefs or through the lack of enthusiasm for change that it’s not worth changing, it’s not worth the hassle, the heartache, the uncertainty. We choose instead to tolerate unfairness, inequality, unhappiness and worse, simply because we fear change.
It’s up to us to view change in the most appropriate way possible. Change can be difficult, there is no known and trusted script to change, and we have to rely on our knowledge, good luck, education, support systems amongst others, when we invoke change.
And yet everything we know is a product of change.
There is nothing we know now, that was not learned, and that in itself is change. Change sometimes can be simple. Sometimes it can be scary, sometimes stressful and many other things too, but it can also be rewarding.
Sometimes not changing can be even scarier. Not changing can mean more heartache, frustration and under achievement. An unwillingness to change can also contribute to life threatening situations for the smoker, the over eater, the couch potato, the illegal drug user, the excessive drinker, the over worked, and others. It is far better to make managed changes to our lives, relationships and habits, than to have nature make the decision for us. For when we don’t make changes it is then that circumstances, fate, nature or whatever we choose to call it, makes us change, and that is really is scary!
Empower yourself and make those important changes now - visit -www.healthyaudiohypnosis.com for well-being and self-help audio programs.
Most of us
have been through difficult times over recent recession years. And of course other life issues and problems don’t stop because we were going through a recession.
Something I often detect in people, whether during the recession or in other areas of life, is a resolve not to be beaten.
I am sure I am right and I hope this attitude builds momentum. Yes there is lots of bad news about, and we hear every day of the difficulties people are facing. Yet many people are seeing this as a time for a fresh start, more people looking at starting their own businesses, or changing their career in some way. I see people in my practice who have decided they need to do more, they speak about taking the initiative, of improving themselves and preparing themselves for the emotional and financial recovery.
To do this they need more skills. And these skills are not simply about learning how not to get nervous or tongue-tied when pitching a presentation, or how to network properly. They are also looking at how to be comfortable in themselves, how to be the person they want to be, letting go of fears and baggage of the past, looking for the many different ways of how they can help themselves to move on and to be better placed to meet the challenges they expect to face as they move on through their life journey.
Most admit that they
would not have thought about making changes had it not been for the recession or change in relationship or work environment. For some, the hard times have been a valuable wake up call. One person said to me recently that they had simply realised that “no-one owed me a living” and he was staggered by this thought.
He is of course right, no-one does owe any of us a living, and I am sure this moment of self realisation for this young man will prove to serve him well for the rest of his life.
Why is it then that so many people seem to be awakening from a haze that has blinded them to the fact that they and only they are responsible for their own lives and what they make of it? I am unsure of the answer but I am pleased to see it. The events of the recession were thrust upon us, no-one asked for it, but it has been a wake up call for many individuals and businesses that they had to change, and be different and make the very most of themselves and their talents, for new opportunities will continue to arise. We all need to be in the best possible place we can be to meet the challenges and the opportunities the next few years will bring.
I am pleased also to see
a spiritual awakening in people, realising that the world cannot go on as it is. We need to work collectively to raise awareness and vibration to help heal ourselves and others. For many this may be airy-fairy mumbo jumbo, so I will leave it there for now, but in another blog I will cover my thoughts more fully.
For those who are looking at, or considering adding to their skill set or making a change in career direction or have been made redundant, remember: the better you feel in yourself, the more likely you are to be better balanced, capable of clearer thinking and better judgment, which will allow you to embrace change more readily.
Readers unable to visit my practice are encouraged to look at the self help / self development audio programs on my website www.healthyaudiohypnosis.com
Guilt Posted on 03 Jan 15:20 , 0 comments
Many people carry various forms of guilt
built upon feelings that are hidden in their past. Some people feel that they have to carry this through life and nothing can change it, and that’s just how it is.
For others, guilt can limit their daily activities and sabotage positive thought patterns which builds a belief that they are not worthy of happiness, healthy relationships, promotions or compliments.
This perceived dark past of their actions or failure to act, may lead them to believe that they don’t have the right to feel good about themselves ever again. There are different reasons for guilt, but here I will deal with the most frequently presented.
Often people say to me,
“I feel so guilty about” and then they tell me about whatever it was they did or didn’t do. They simply don’t allow themselves any changes in thought patterns associated with their guilt, usually because they don’t know how.
They often follow that with “I feel awful telling you about it, but I wouldn’t do it again” and therein is the release from the guilt. It is not for me to judge, but rather to help the individual to seek a different way to think about the issue mentioned.
So they wouldn’t do it again. “Definitely not” they reply. So that means if you wouldn’t do it again, then something has changed, and I point out, that they must have changed; their morals and ethics must have changed. And if they definitely would not do the action which in hindsight brings the guilt, then there is no need to be guilty about it. It is in the past, it’s a burden which can be released. If I were able to transport them back in time to that very same moment in which they made their decision, would they make the same decision again? Absolutely not, they insist.
Well I am afraid they are wrong.
Because, they made the decision based on what they knew at the time, through education, life experience, pressures and limitations and more, all of which were present at that time.
It is only now, with reflection on their past actions and decisions, with a different life experience, different knowledge, fuller education, different standards, morals and ethics and perhaps different pressures and beliefs which they have in this moment that they see the decision would be different.
And they can choose to carry the burden or they can choose to let it go, and embrace the freedom which they can now enjoy. Guilt is a destructive emotion; if you think differently then the outcomes will be different. Of course there are those too who carry guilt when decisions were made on their behalf, perhaps when they were too young or not deemed able to make the right decision themselves.
Perhaps they didn’t know any better
or have a choice or alternative way to behave, or they were not in a position to assertively express their needs or wants. So in order to move beyond the guilt and to let those feelings go, it is by firstly forgiving ourselves that we can learn to move forward and live a happier and fuller life.
To help you enjoy a better future, try our range of products at www.healthyaudiohypnosis.com
Inner Security Posted on 03 Jan 15:14 , 0 comments
Do you feel secure in your self?
We all know the importance of making our home and car secure, and we know generally where it is safe to walk alone at night. So what other security is there? The other obvious one is financial security; millions of us have had that tested over the last few years. There is the question of job security too; nowadays there are very few jobs which bring long term financial security.
Reflecting on how things are now compared to how they were even 10 years ago, the things we took for granted, the secure job, the assured financial income, the security of owning bricks and mortar have all largely evaporated.
Few of us have the security
we once enjoyed, and unfortunately the loss of these securities in our lives can have a large impact upon us, not only materialistically, but emotionally too.
So do you feel secure inside? The feeling you may once have taken for granted, that no matter what life threw at you, you would be able to deal with it, work it out, find a solution to it. Is that still there?
For some people it won’t be. Too many negatives have happened, been forced upon them or forced from them to feel secure. So many things outside of their area of influence could well have evaporated that had once promoted a feeling of security. Once that security is lost, many things are perceived as threats, from simply driving the car, to socialising, to going to work, relationships becoming more difficult and so much more. We have seen over recent years how quickly things can change
So it might be worth some thought now
on how we are going to deal not only with what we have to deal with in our lives at the present, but what we can do to prepare for the coming challenges. We need to seriously consider building up our inner resources.
Our internal resources can be restored fairly quickly, and once these are re-developed and strengthened then we can start to feel secure again. We can learn to see things through new eyes, and while we may not be able to always change external events and situations, but we can see them differently.
If we create a quiet confidence and strength inside ourselves which we can call upon in times of difficulty, then the impact is not as deep or wounding, emotional recovery can be quicker, discovering options of choice, developing new considerations, re-thinking problems and developing solutions can become easier. We need to build a reservoir of confidence and security inside.
And it all starts
with recognising that we are the controller of our own thoughts. The often asked question is the glass half full or half empty is a good example. If we have our health we are lucky, we can get through anything.
If we have positive emotional resilience, we can comfort ourselves in difficult times that no matter what is going on we can remind ourselves of what we do have, of those who love us, the people we care about, and the skills we have.
All these can help in testing times. So take a few minutes each day to simply be still and think about what and who you have in your life, and what you are able to achieve. By doing so you are developing your own inner security, balance and harmony.
Visit www.healthyaudiohypnosis.com to see our well-being audio programs, including confidence and self-esteem.
FEAR ~ we have all felt it at some time in our life,
whether the fear was real or perceived, it still has an affect on us, it can send us into a fight, flight or freeze reaction or it may make us act in a positive way.
For some people FEAR can stand for ‘Forget Everything and Run’, or it could be, ‘Fiction Envisioned as Real’.
Fear is just an emotion
which creates a physical response, and we react in whatever way we feel is appropriate at the time, even if it is inappropriate to do so! Phobias are a good example. When we are not faced with the situation which causes the phobic response we are rational, cool, often calling the phobic response silly or stupid, and even laughing about it. But when faced with the situation which causes the phobic response, logic and humour are largely forgotten, the learned response kicks in and we forget everything and run!
Imaginings can also create fear. Even though an imagined event has not happened, nor is very likely to do so, the imagined event can create just as powerful a response as one actually happening in the moment. Since fear is an emotion which creates a physical response, change the thought and the physical response changes too.
When we are fearful in the moment
we rarely stop to think through the problem, we just react. Often the answer is simply to stop and think. Introduce some logic to the thought process, and when you introduce something new, the response is changed too.
If we live a life of fear and dread, we are robbing ourselves of living the life we want to live. We are sabotaging our lives and often the lives of those around us because we are not allowing ourselves to be the person we are capable of being. If this state of mind continues for any length of time, our emotional energy is often drained, wasted on fear of imaginings.
And yet we have the capability to be and do more, we are capable of learning and relearning ways to think, feel and behave. If you or someone you know doesn’t believe this, then you should consider coming to have a chat with me. We are all capable of learning, all capable of letting go of those things no longer needed. Regular readers will know I don’t use the word “can’t”!
It’s not that you can’t, it’s more like you don’t know how, or it may be you don’t want to, but it isn’t that you can’t. Fear can be from the past, present or future - our responses are largely the same wherever the fear is from.
And I am not just addressing the type of stark reality fear when our lives may be threatened; I am also including, anxiety, phobia, constant concern, heightened states. In fact, anything that prevents you from living the life you are entitled to live, with peace of mind, safety and inner calm. So remember there is always something that can be learned, considered or changed which could give you a new way of thinking, feeling and behaving.
If you are local to my practice consider emailing for an appointment, or if you live further afield you can arrange a Skype initial consultation, or take a look at the range of my self-help audio programs at www.healthyaudiohypnosis.com
On one of my morning walks
a few years ago, the sky was overcast, the wind had a chill, and a few drops of rain were warning of the deluge shortly to come. Approaching me, was a young woman of perhaps 18 to 20 years of age and suddenly she gave me a wonderful smile. It was such a delight and a wonderful change from the usual people who I pass who don’t even look up. As a student of human observation, that smile said several things; it conveyed a message of happiness, friendliness, and a confidence that is rarely seen these days.
It brightened my day, how nice to have received that smile; I hope the one I returned was as equally well received. And it made me think that a smile costs nothing to give, but can be worth a fortune. I remember W.C Fields the comedian and actor once said “Start everyday with a smile and get it over with.” I like to think that was the comedian in him, as I side more with the sentiments of Phyllis Diller the American comedienne who said, “A smile is a curve which sets everything straight.”
That one smile given by a total stranger made a big impact. But sadly it is rare these days to receive an honest smile. A true smile is seen also in the eyes, and yet they are in danger of becoming extinct. These days it seems to be seen by many as a sign of weakness.
Don’t show a weakness, don’t raise your head and give eye contact as you walk past, don’t acknowledge your fellow human beings because then you’re leaving yourself open, exposed and vulnerable ~ you might have to communicate! And then I considered the fact that perhaps many had forgotten how to smile, or was it true that it may be seen as a sign of weakness? But I believe the giving of a genuine smile, no matter how difficult life is, or how worried we are can give us strength. It can show the outside world we are approachable - a scowl doesn’t.
And from that outward sign, from that simple smile we may receive it back, we may be offered help, we may begin conversation, we may have opportunity to help others and more - all from that one simple, easy free act of giving.
But is it true that we can be seen as vulnerable or submissive if we smile and are friendly? I think not. In fact the opposite may be true. If we show we are secure in ourselves, that we have the confidence and self belief and self esteem to openly show our genuine self, then we have learned to be stronger than the many around us who don’t share a smile, but would rather ignore others or wear a frown to protect them from the fear of interacting.
The simple act of smiling can say a lot about us, how we feel and the confidence we have. Those who know me would, I hope, agree I wear a smile more often than a frown, but perhaps the cynic would add, it’s because I have no idea of what’s going on!
Visit my site to see my well-being audio programs – perhaps I should create one for those who are afraid to smile? Help build your self-confidence and smiling skills at