Emotional Energy Posted on 20 Feb 17:48 , 0 comments
During any given day
your physical and emotional energy levels fluctuate, for some people it can be like the ebb and flow of a gentle tide, or for others it’s more like crashing waves, and then brief moments of quiet before the tide hits again.
As the mind and body are so intertwined, emotional states dictate the physical energy levels, and if depleted regularly this can lead to short or long term illnesses.
It is therefore important to be mindful about what affects the emotional energy levels. People are often unaware that their energy is being drained, whether by other people (usually unintentionally), or by certain situations or within negative environments.
People who give a lot of themselves to others, or work in emotionally charged places where there is a lot of negative energy i.e. people angry, frustrated and unhappy, will be affected by this energy, whereby they may feel drained all the time, as if their own energy is being sucked from them.
If then they feel they have no control over their environment they may repress their own emotions or try to make things better, but may feel they are stuck in a vicious cycle. This can increase stress levels and affect confidence and self esteem, ultimately resulting in disturbed sleeping and eating patterns, depleting pain tolerance, and likely resulting in illnesses, where the body is trying to right itself.
Awareness is the key,
sensing the energy levels dipping, and knowing what things are affecting it. It is also important to be more aware of how you deal with difficult situations and people.
Do you avoid confrontation, and try to keep the peace? Do you push down your own feelings and needs to keep others happy? Do you worry about things, but are fearful of taking any form of action? Do you remain in unhealthy relationships because you don’t want to be alone, or are more focused on the other person’s needs more than your own?
Are you driven by ‘shoulds’, and feel contained within other people’s rules and boundaries, resulting in you feeling you don’t know your own mind? This can also lead to repressed emotions, turning feelings inwards on yourself or expressing them inappropriately.
If any, or all of these questions rings warning bells for you, it is now time to start taking care of your emotional energy levels. If they are regularly depleted, there is a high probability that you are already feeling it physically too.
It is also important to notice
if you feel drained after being with certain people. If someone else is low in energy or holding onto negative energy, then they will naturally try to get the energy they need from other people. You may need to limit your time with these people, then give yourself time to relax and re-coup your energy.
It may help to keep a diary of events that trigger symptoms of depleted energy i.e. fatigue, problems with eating or sleeping, shutting off from others, or heightened emotions.
What may also help is one of the many self-help and well-being audio programs on our site that will enable you to build up your emotional energies at www.healthyaudiohypnosis.com
‘Creativity’ Posted on 20 Feb 17:40 , 0 comments
There are a lot of misconceptions
about ‘Hypnosis’ and ‘Hypnotherapy’ and how it can help people. Previously I have identified issues which may affect people and have raised awareness of thought processes and how to manage feelings and reactive behaviours.
Hypnosis is an altered state of consciousness, a state we all slip into many times during the day when we daydream, carry out actions such as driving on automatic pilot, focus intently on our work, and drifting into asleep when we go to bed.
The main aim when using Hypnosis
within Therapy is to create desired changes to unhealthy habits, self limiting beliefs, distorted attitudes and inappropriate behaviours, including those within relationships.
When using Hypnosis we work predominantly with the main 3 of the 5 senses – what you see, hear and feel; assisting the creative part of the mind to become activated. If you think about the masterpiece an artist can create, they are using their creative minds being totally focused on the canvas in front of them, shutting out everything around them. They are effectively working within a hypnotic trance state.
If an artist can create a masterpiece,
then everyone has the ability on some level to create something unique and different for themselves and for others. You may be thinking, ‘well not me, I’m not creative’. As children we all had the ability to be imaginative, therefore creative, and creativity comes in many forms.
People can lose their creative abilities as they grow into adults, as their rational minds develop; but the good thing is, the creative mind can always be activated, and in simple ways.
Here are three examples
of how words can tap into the imagination, and be used to help you to enhance your creative abilities and thus create positive change for yourself:
Imagine the light, in whatever form,
Does it shine brightly or is it dim?
How does the air about you feel,
Is it warm or cool on your skin?
How do you experience silence,
Or the noises around you, is it a din?
Imagine roses, the trees and the grass,
Be aware of the sky, the clouds or the stars,
Imagine chasing rainbows, floating clouds, butterflies...
what about moonbeams, sun-rays, raindrops?
I believe I can cut my own pathway
I believe I can step off the edge and not fall
I believe I can close my eyes and follow my heart and soul
I believe I can walk in the rain and not get wet
I believe in today and have hope for tomorrow
I believe in dreams, I believe in me....
It is important to use positive words and statements as in the 3rd example above. Generally people run self limiting negative messages about themselves in their minds, and these can be replaced by positive statements, which can be read out loud or listened to in a recording when in a state of relaxation or during a focused creative activity.
To find out more about how you can release your own creativity, please visit www.healthyaudiohypnosis.com for our well-being and self-help audio programs.
Priorities Posted on 20 Feb 17:21 , 0 comments
Life moves on,
sometimes at a steady pace, and at other times it seems to speed up or slow down. It is important to make the most of each day and the time that we have; however, busy lives, commitments and routines often take over.
We often have to prioritize what we think is most important, or what others deem to be most important, and quiet time for ourselves often gets pushed back and gradually forgotten about.
Most of us rush around doing things for others and to earn money and never have the time to enjoy the things that perhaps we need to prioritize to help our emotional and physical well-being.
Priorities constantly change
depending on circumstances, and in response to the needs or expectations of others. For instance, when a young professional woman has a baby, her priorities constantly shift, from holding down a successful career and busy social life, to preparing baby's arrival, with everything that entails, including arranging maternity leave, future child care etc.
The hormones are also affecting her sense of identity, mood, sleeping and eating patterns, which would also then affect her working day and social life. Then there’s the expectation of the changes baby will bring, reduced pay during her maternity leave, whether she will want to go back to work, but that financially she may not have a choice, and if she does the feelings about leaving her baby, and who will provide the child care, and costs involved with that. T
he young mum’s priorities will then all change as her new baby’s needs will be the priority and everything else that was familiar to her will then take a back seat. How does she find time for herself?
If you cannot relate to this, you will have most likely had other experiences where one thing has happened in your life that has changed everything else, including short and long term plans and goals. It may have been an illness or accident, or the loss of a loved one.
Sometimes our perception of the right thing to do, and the pressures from others, and societal norms can dictate how and what we prioritize. Many people believe that it is selfish to put their own needs before others, however, if you do not look after yourself then you may not be in a fit state to help others, which can have disastrous effect on those most dependent on you.
How can you prioritize time for yourself, when you have a hundred and one things to do? It often helps to write lists, or a pictogram to make it more interesting. Start with the things that definitely need doing each day, and decide what can be handed over to someone else. Is there anything that you can actually totally let go of?
Can you improve your time management? Do you need to change your emotional response and beliefs in order to let things go or to pass them onto someone else? Often we believe we should be doing something in a certain way, which may be time consuming, when in fact we can make changes to improve life for ourselves. It is important to plan in time for yourself into your daily and weekly routines, and when setting longer term goals.
If you need some help in changing your priorities, please visit www.healthyaudiohypnosis.com to see our self-help and well-being audio programs.
What is Hypnosis? Posted on 12 Feb 15:38 , 0 comments
Have you ever been totally absorbed
while reading a book, cooking or watching a film? Did you zone out to the point where you didn't notice what else was going on around you? If so, you've experienced a type of trance-like state or focused attention that's similar to what happens to you during hypnosis.
Hypnosis, when provided by an experienced practitioner, helps with a variety of health conditions. These range from helping to control pain to easing emotional distress after trauma.
Hypnosis, also referred to as hypnotherapy or hypnotic suggestion, is an altered state of consciousness. This state of consciousness is usually achieved with the help of a hypnotherapist and is different from your everyday awareness.
When you're in hypnosis:
Your attention is more focused, you are more responsive to suggestions, and more open and less critical or disbelieving. The purpose of hypnosis as a therapeutic technique is to help you gain more control over your behaviour, emotions or physical well-being.
There is much scientific research being undertaken to bring a clear understanding of how it works. Presently researchers suggest that it appears to affect how your brain communicates with your body through nerve impulses, hormones and body chemicals, such as neuropeptides. As a practitioner I know, for many subjects, hypnosis creates a state of deep relaxation and quiets the mind. When you're hypnotised you can concentrate intensely on a specific thought, memory, feeling or sensation while blocking out distractions. You're more open than usual to suggestions, and this can be used to change your behaviour and thereby improve your health and well-being.
Who is hypnosis for?
Hypnotherapy has the potential to help relieve the symptoms of a wide variety of diseases and conditions. It can be used independently or along with other treatments. For example, in the USA it’s one of several relaxation methods used for treating chronic pain and has been approved by an independent panel convened by the National Institutes of Health. According to preliminary studies, again in the USA, hypnotherapy may be used to change negative behaviours, such as smoking, bed-wetting and overeating, reduce fear, stress and anxiety, eliminate or decrease the intensity of phobias, treat pain during childbirth and reduce labour time, control pain during dental and surgical procedures, relieve symptoms associated with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), lower blood pressure, control nausea and vomiting caused by chemotherapy, reduce the intensity or frequency of headaches, including migraines, hasten the healing of some skin diseases, including warts, psoriasis and atopic dermatitis.
In the UK hypnosis
is recommended by the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) to manage IBS symptoms. Hypnosis in the guidelines is classed as a psychological intervention, not complementary or alternative medicine. Hypnosis for IBS has many years of successful research behind it – see my IBS Audio Program 100 which has been helping IBS sufferers around the world since 1998.
Although hypnosis has the potential to help with a wide variety of conditions, it's not a magic effect.
For some conditions such as IBS it can be used as a stand alone treatment, for others it can be part of a broader, more comprehensive treatment plan.
Before any hypnotherapy sessions there is the initial consultation which is an information gathering process, as it helps build rapport and aids understanding between client and therapist. In my practice you are never asked to make a decision to proceed at the initial consultation; in my view it is important before any hypnotherapy sessions are taken that you take time to reflect on what has been discussed and feel comfortable with the therapist.
If you cannot get to my practice visit my site www.healthyaudiohypnosis.com for a rage of self-help audio programs for conditions such as IBS in Adults and Children, Anxiety, Confidence and Self-Esteem, Stress and many more.
Low Self Esteem Posted on 12 Feb 15:37 , 0 comments
can mean many things to many people, it may mean self-confidence, self-respect, self-worth or self-perception, these and many descriptions are used when I meet people in my practice.
It is about how we view ourselves, how we value ourselves, and for many people self esteem is often quite low, in some cases even non-existent. These low feelings often reflect our experiences throughout life. Sometimes when we are children we are limited by the things people say to us, the way we are told to behave, the result of things that have happened to us, amongst other reasons. In adult life it can be the result of work, relationships, finances, accidents, and many other reasons.
The person with low self-esteem is often quick to self-criticise or apologise. They might be shy or quiet. Their jobs may reflect their inner perceptions of themselves, doing work that is often below their capabilities. Their posture is often turned in, avoiding eye contact is also a give away.
This subject is far too great to cover in this column, but if any of the above reflect you and how you feel and how you behave then take heart, it does not have to be this way.
The first step
is to identify that your self-esteem is not where you want it to be. An important first step indeed. Next decide if you are worthy enough do something about it. Regular readers will be familiar with one of my equations of life which is this. If you know there is something that needs changing and you choose to do nothing about it, don’t complain! But if you decide to do something about it then shout all you like, for then you are doing something for yourself.
Only you can make that choice. Only you can decide if you want to change the way things are for you. If you want to walk taller, and be an equal to everyone else, then do something about it.
If you want to feel confident in yourself and your abilities then make changes. If you know you need to change but don’t know how to start the changes, then come and have a talk to me, if you can’t get to my practice take a look at my
If you know someone who might benefit reading this, please forward this article to them.
Without doubt, once we decide to make something happen we can set goals, push back the boundaries and limitations that have been placed on us by others or ourselves. We can look to the future with more confidence, make plans for ourselves and those we love.
We can instigate changes
in many areas of our lives, but as always it starts with the first step. Making the decision we know we need to make. If the time is not right just now, ask yourself when it will be!
The sooner we make changes the sooner our quality of life will improve.
Of course making these changes will not always be easy, but if you make them in a safe, secure and supportive environment then they can be made easier, can happen more quickly and very often can be enjoyable and exciting.
Alternatively go to www.healthyaudiohypnosis.com to see all my self-help audio recordings.
What’s it worth? Posted on 12 Feb 15:36 , 0 comments
Many years ago...
a prospective client came to see me for hypnotherapy for his presenting problem. He was a businessman, plenty of money and always in a rush. At the initial consultation he outlined his problem and said it was something he had been meaning to address for years but had never got around to it. I outlined my approach which was structured and progressive, giving him time to understand the changes needed, giving options of choice and considerations, giving him time to listen to the recording of the session which I nearly always provide, and through the structuring and gentle progressive work he would achieve his goal, even after all those years.
It soon become clear there was a snag!
He didn’t want to wait. He wanted to come and see me every day for two weeks to get the problem sorted. I said no. He offered me three times my fee for each session. I said no. He simply couldn’t understand the concept of working on, and learning about, himself. He wanted a quick fix, and yet he had waited years before he decided to come for his an appointment! He wanted me to do the work for him, when in reality what he had to do was to take part in his own healing too. I could guide, and help and support and give advice, but he had to be responsible for his own life and aims.
He got frustrated, he wanted - no “needed” - to get his issues sorted out. It took some considerable time for him to realise that what he wanted could not be bought just with money. The cost also included him doing some self work, some home work, putting time into learning a different way of thinking, and recognising that only by applying what he learned could he progress and have a better quality of life.
I told him no amount of money would buy him what he wanted if he wasn’t prepared to learn and also become familiar with what he would be learning. If he did this, then there was a more realistic chance of him being successful.
He left my office feeling quite disgruntled, and still trying to fathom out how money alone couldn’t solve his problem and why I couldn’t be persuaded to change my mind.
The truth was,
for him the cost was too high. Not financially, but in the time and effort he would have to give himself and his willingness to engage in the learning process to be successful. He missed an important opportunity. He could have discovered much more, that taking part in change can be enjoyable and exciting too, as well as hard work sometimes.
From my point of view, I could have taken his money and given him my time, but deep down I knew his heart wwouldn't be in it and the chances of success were slight. If he had looked beyond the financial cost, he would also have realised that when he had worked and learned and was eventually successful having achieved his goal, the cost and the effort would have been worth it. Whatever ‘it’ may be!
See my website www.healthyaudiohypnosis.com for self-help audio programs, but be aware – you need to work with them, they are not designed to be ornaments! Use them and help yourself be better!
Right here in this moment, is where life exists.
The past has gone, the future may never come, so now is all that matters.
It’s natural to share memories, and sometimes wanting to relive them. However when and if we do, we find that ‘the moment’ or ‘the experience’ cannot be relived, not exactly as we remembered.
And the reason is pretty obvious: through the passing of time, we have grown, we have more experience, more knowledge, more life skills, more education, different perspectives, morals and ethics to name a few life changers. Also memories are subject to change, and to embellishment.
A memory is unique,
and you only have one original memory, after that it’s a memory of a memory, and then a memory of a memory of a memory and so it goes on. Each time it is remembered, something changes it, our new way of thinking interprets the most recent recollection to fit with the thinking we have now, in this moment.
We can however learn from memories, both good and bad. Both are part of our learning and living experience. But we have to recognise there is no going back.
One of my favourite bands Noah and the Whale, in their song ‘Give it all Back’ repeat the following
Yeah I’d give it all back just to do it again,
Turn back time, to be with my friends – tonight.
And yet it’s not possible (as far as we know at the moment of writing)
Best to leave it in the past, remember them fondly, learn from them and then move on. Also we need to remember that any individuals in our memories have changed too, they have new talents, life skills, morals and ethics so they are hugely different to how we remembered them. The brash kid, now mild mannered and respectful; the young tearaway now a respected pillar of the community.
The past has gone, never to return.
Looking to the future, we can hope we have one, we can work towards it, make plans and enjoy the anticipation. But as we know there are few guarantees in life. So when you look back to the past, or to the future, remember you are doing both, while living in the most important moment, Now!
To find out more about living in the moment, please visit www.healthyaudiohypnosis.com
We have all needed it
and we have all given it at some time in our lives. Have you noticed however that asking or taking advice can be a tricky thing to handle? In addition to the issue or subject that you are looking for advice about, you have to take into account the emotions of the giver.
If someone offers advice we often feel we have to take it. If we ask for advice we feel we have to take it. Advice however is only an opinion, suggestion or recommendation. They are not and never have been set in stone!
Many times I come across people who have taken advice, and acted upon it, even when their own gut instinct has been screaming for them not to. Going against your own instincts is usually rewarded with regret.
I learned pretty early
on in my practice days to bring in a qualifier to any asking of advice. I would ask for it, but also added “even though I am asking, I may not take your advice but I would be grateful for to hear it”. While people generally are taken back by that, it’s often better to get it out in the open as failing to do so can bring consternation to the giver, even causing possible long term damage to a relationship. So my advice would always be to qualify your request for any and all advice.
Sometimes however you may receive advice from a trusted, experienced older friend or colleague. There may be times when you just have to trust your instincts about the giver, rather than their advice. Older heads on older shoulders often see different perspectives, may have been in a similar situation at some time in their life. So then it’s a matter of balancing your trust in the individual, and your instincts towards the advice given. However remember whatever decision you ultimately make, you will have to live with it - it’s your life and your choice.
In my practice when I am counselling, I make it clear that it is not my job to tell my clients what to do. It’s my job to give them options of choice and considerations allowing them to make their own decisions. And the great thing about making choices and decisions is that the more you make the easier it becomes.
If you need advice for IBS, Anxiety, Insomnia, Stress, Chronic Pain or any other of my well-being programs please visit www.healthyaudiohypnosis.com though of course you don’t have to!
How important are you? How highly do you rate yourself?
It’s a question that perhaps many people do not even think about, until it’s almost too late! The majority of us have busy lives, we work, go to college, school or university. Even the retired often say they don’t know how they had time to work!
We may have busy social lives, or have to care for sick or elderly relative. We seldom have time to think how important we are. Take a moment and answer this question “Who is the most important person in your life at present?” Take a few moments, and count each one on your fingers, your partner, children, uncles, aunts, best friends and whoever else. You should count all those who are special to you. And when you have counted them all, stop and ask yourself “Where am I?” Did you place yourself last? Did you even think about including yourself? Many readers will find they “don’t count”!
And that is so often the first answer I receive when I ask that question.
Well for all those who answered as above, I have to tell you that you are wrong.
All those individuals you named and counted,
their lives would be affected if anything happened to you! You contribute to their lives as they contribute to yours. You are important to others, so why not to yourself? The answer often given is that it feels selfish to think of yourself in this way. And I always give the same reply – looking after yourself is not selfish, it’s self-preservation.
Some with low confidence or self-esteem, those who are stressed or anxious often don’t count themselves as being important.
If you don’t look after yourself, then sooner or later you will pay the price for it. If you work too hard, get stressed or are constantly worried, sooner or later the price will have to be paid. Mother Nature will stop you, and if you don’t learn your lesson she will stop you harder, until either you listen or it’s too late!
We need to make time for ourselves, time for those we love, to do our hobbies, to socialise, to take time to be quiet, to listen to ourselves, to our body and mind as well as listening to others.
We also have to learn not to take on the worries and problems of others. We can advise and support, but we can’t afford to live the problems of others, most of us have enough going on in our own lives that drains our own inner resources without taking on the problems of others.
So one of the first things we have to learn, or relearn, is to help ourselves, and we can do that by listening to what our body and mind are telling us. If we have inappropriate emotional or physical problems they are indicators that we are expending more energy than we are making, so we have to redress the balance, take more time for ourselves, doing things we want to do, not living our lives the way others want us to.
It is easier said than done, but it is worth doing. Remember it is often a matter of self-preservation not selfishness. Above all else remember you are important.
Start by saying yes to you, right now, see my self-help audio programs at www.healthyaudiohypnosis.com
When I was in first year
at high school at the great age of 11, one of the teachers (whose first impression on me was one of being a fearsome sort of individual, but who in later years I learned to trust and admire who also won my respect) wrote on the blackboard the words “Can Not” in big letters.
He told us to look at those two words for a few minutes and after what seemed an age, he lightly brushed the board duster over the words so they faded. He told us to keep watching as he passed the duster over the words again and then again and eventually the words faded so that they could no longer be seen. He told us to close our eyes and see the words in our mind and see them fading until they had disappeared. He then told us he did not want to hear any of us use those words - ever! He was insistent and he made the impression that still holds today, almost 50 years later.
As I went through life
I remembered those words I shouldn’t use. As soon as I thought them they disappeared. Because I knew if I used them then I would be closing down any chance to achieve whatever it was I wanted to achieve. It was a very useful if unusual lesson.
I read a story somewhere about a chap who had a big chunk of granite rising out of the ground in the middle of his garden. After a while he decided he to do something about it, so he took a chisel and hammer and eventually carved out an excellent reproduction of grisly bear. Passers by, friends and neighbours commented on the wonderful statue he had carved. They asked the man how he managed to sculpt such an excellent larger than life statue of a grisly bear without any image to model it from. “It was easy” he replied, “I just chipped off everything that didn’t look like a grisly bear”.
Whether this story is true or not,
it is one that made an impression on me. As we go through life we usually want to be successful, by our own standards so sometimes we have to re-model ourselves. We have to learn new ideas and approaches, sometimes knock off the bits we don’t like about ourselves.
Attitudes and negative emotions can dominate us, and eventually make us jealous or hateful or seeking revenge for something that was real or fanciful. If we spend our lives seeking revenge or looking to hold others back we simply sabotage ourselves, our lives and our future. While the individual(s) we are trying to get even with are achieving and living their lives successfully.
Benjamin Disraeli a former Prime Minister was known to do favours for people who deeply opposed him.
The story goes
that he once said “I never trouble to be avenged. When a man injures me, I put his name on a piece of paper and lock it in a drawer. It is marvellous to see how men I have labelled have a knack of disappearing”. Some times we should stop and wipe our own slate clean and start again. And not even consider the idea of “Can Not”.
To find out more about having a Can Do attitude, go to my website for self-help audio programs www.healthyaudiohypnosis.com